Red Hairing

Ok, I know the VMAs were weeks ago, and I know most of the hoopla about Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke's preformance has died down, but it didn't stop me from seeing an article on facebook about Miley twerking and exploiting her black back up dancers... you know, one of those facebook time wasters where I feel like I'm doing something productive by reading an informative article but I eventually get sucked in to the vortex of youtube... yeah one of those.

So after reading an entire article on twerking I decided I needed to see if Miley really twerked that much in the video (The VMA performance was my only encounter with the song.  What... I don't listen to pop radio OK?)

I watched the video (in which she only "twerks" once or twice... and even at the VMA's she really only stuck her butt in the air.  Heck, even I can do that.) and wondered what all the fuss was about.  I'm pretty sure Miley is not twerktastic.
What bothered me the most was the parts with her lying on the bed with come hither eyes grinding and gyrating.  I felt like I was watching the opening minutes of a "solo girl" porn video... you know before she takes her clothes off.

But, OK, it's a music video for a song about taking drugs and going wild.  What did I expect?  That's not what bothered me.  Well, that's not what bothered me enough to actually get on here and write about it.

This is what bothered me: 
I read the comments section.  Oh, Lord, why do I read the comments?  I am addicted.

In the comments there are many who like it, lot's of spam trying to get me to look at their videos and a few too many people who care not about the twerking, not about the gyrating, not about the drugs and the laissez faire "I'm the centre of the universe" attitude.  No no... what these people are concerned about is her HAIR! 

"Oh, she used to be so pretty!  Where did her hair go?"  "It all went wrong when she cut off her hair" "oh boo hoo hair hair hair."

OK, OK, a lot of people did care about all the other stuff... but honestly, if the majority of teenage girls watching this care more about the length of Miley's hair than how slutty she's acting that's a problem.

"Twerking is so in right now!  Oh look at her butt!  I really like that outfit.  They look like they're having so much fun at that party!  I wish I could move like that on a bed... I'll practice later.  OH, but that hair!  It's so bad.  She looks way prettier with long hair! I miss Hannah Montana"

I'm hoping that what's happening is that these kids are watching this and sensing that something is not right.  When Rihanna or Britney act slutty in a video it's fine, because they have always been slutty.  Yes, Britney Spears was also on Disney, but she became famous by dancing in a school girl outfit tailored for 6 year olds.  When Miley Cyrus acts slutty there are echoes of Hanna Montana gyrating on a bed.  I think this strikes a teeny chord with these young people;  they know it's not Hannah Montana, they know people grow up, they know they are growing up themselves, but somehow they can see that Miley's trajectory has turned slightly trashy.  The problem is that they are young, and inundated with sex and drugs, so this is par for the course for a music video.  Somethings wrong, but they can't put their finger on it.  So they worry that her hair isn't feminine enough.  Because to them, girls are supposed to be flirty, funny and sexy... with long hair.

It hasn't occurred to them that maybe the problem is the sexual objectification of a sweet girl that used to be just like them.  That in order to be "grown up" a girl, according to pop culture, must sell her sex.  She must be into drugs or alcohol, because that's how you have a good time.  She must be willing and able to do anything at all, even if that means she becomes nothing to herself.

Instead of wrestling with their feelings about her actions, she simply becomes "ugly".  The problem is that one doesn't become ugly by cutting off one's hair.  Good hair isn't going to help if you're a real "butter face".  Somehow I think these girls are subtly picking up on the fact that her behaviour is unappealing and her outfits are ridiculous.  They are projecting that onto her hair, the only obvious physical thing that has changed about her.  The only thing that they can conceivably pick on with out their own hair catching fire.  Her hair is the only thing that makes her different from the other girls in the music industry putting out slutty videos (I know Rihanna has short hair, but again, she always had short hair.  Young people don't always make sense.)

Maybe I'm reading too much into this.  Maybe I'm delusional, but I hope that this generation sees what's what eventually.  Otherwise we're in trouble.

And for the record, I love Miley's new haircut.  I think it's sassy, a little edgy and a little classy.  I think she's got a lot of great things going for her, I just wish she'd stop trying to sell her sex as if she's worthless without it, because she's so not.

A Feminine Church?

There are a few things I've had on the back burner, and I'll get to those in the coming weeks, but today, I need to talk about this.  Because it happened today.  And I don't want to forget.

I am facebook friends with an old Priest of mine.  He posts a lot of articles (most of them make me mad, all of them make me think and pray.  One from today was about Masculinity and the Liturgy.

If you don't feel like reading the entire thing the author is essentially saying that the reason men don't go to Church anymore is because all of the masculine aspects of the liturgy have been edited or removed.

Here are my responses to his thoughts:

1.  Lack of Order:  The fact that some prayers have optional versions does not, for me, constitute a more feminine type of liturgy.  I don't know what this guy's idea of masculinity/femininity is, but being able to choose Eucharistic prayer A, B or C doesn't really scream femininity to me.

ummm...

2.  No Longer Exclusively for Men:  Apparently now that women can hand out communion, be lectors, be cantors and musical directors and even, *gasp* be altar servers, men just don't want to do it anymore.

Yes, seriously.  Apparently all men are 5 years olds who are afraid of cooties or something.  Let me be fair:  he's actually saying that the laity in general shouldn't do any priestly duties, so no reading from the ambo, and no extraordinary ministers.
But he doesn't seem to have a problem with men doing these things, because I guess they could be priests one day.   Women can't be priests.  (sorry girl altar servers, although serving at the altar is not a priest's role, serving at the altar is like priest kindergarten, so you're out too)

The saddest part of the whole thing for me is that this stance reeks of latent sexism.  I don't think he's trying to be sexist outright, but if a woman doing something, let's call it K, if a woman doing K makes K less appealing to men, it means that K has become less valuable because of it's association with women.  So women are less valuable then men.  Even Catholic men wouldn't outright say this, because they (are supposed to) believe in the complementarity of the sexes (equal but different), but if a women handing out communion sullies the sacrament... well, we must have dirty hands or something.

3.  Sentimental music:  He likes Gregorian chant.  He doesn't like fruffy music that talks about icky things like "feelings" and "love".  Sorry.  I forgot that men are supposed to be robots.

4.  The Priest Faces the People:  See number 1

5.  Sense of Ancientness is Lost:  "Men love tradition.  While women find their sense of community through shared conversation, men find it through shared action."

Yes, and men love hunting, and women love cooking.  Men love fighting while women love writing.  That's why no women own rifles, and there are no men chefs.  Also there are no female boxers and all authors are women.

you tell 'em Michelle

Case in point:  I am female.  I love tradition.  I love DOING things with others (this is why drama games are so good for bringing groups together.  I also find great camaraderie in playing board games).  My husband is a talker, he asks questions, HE is the conversationalist.  He does NOT get how playing board games can build relationships.  Do I like talking with my friends? Yes.  Would I like it if Church were sometimes a little more conversational?  Yes, and I'll talk more about this later, but honestly.... just see number 1.

6. No More Latin:  See number 1

7.  Sacrifice is Downplayed:  this is another "see number 1" but I would also like to respond specifically to this line:  "Men love the concept of sacrifice".

Mary and Jesus

well... sorry to say, women love it too.  No, wait, sorry everyone... SOME women and SOME men love the concept of sacrifice.  I know I used a gif of the Passion of the Christ, a movie that I have lots of problems with... but here we see that we are ALL called to sacrifice.  What is pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, caring for an infant, and raising it to be a beautiful human being but sacrifice.  And you know what?  A lot of women want this.  And a lot of men love that concept too.  See number 1.



OY.
So, that was that.  if you did read the article and if you're one for reading comments, you may have noticed that I got into it a bit with someone.  Well, I didn't get into anything really, but I find that many "conservative" or "traditional" Catholics tend to be pretty angry and really divisive.  It's something that's been really bugging be lately, but I'll have to talk about that another time.

Coincidentally I went to Mass this morning at Holy Rosary Church in Guelph today; the only Catholic Church in town that I'd never been to.  IT'S NICE!  I had such a great time!!  apparently it's run by the Jesuits in town which I didn't know, and I'm not necessarily certain that's the reason why the Mass was the way it was, it could have been just the Priest but I loved it!!
Do you know why I loved it?  Because the Priest was conversational.  Because he didn't just say "this Mass is being said for so and so the end" he mentioned each one and stated how much each member meant to the community; to the Church.  I liked it because he used big gestures to show that he was talking to us and with us as a community, because after the formal prayers of intention he opened up the floor to anyone who wanted to add something (I'm fairly certain that's only a weekday thing).  I loved that Mass because it was personal.

The author of that article probably would have thought it was a "feminine" Mass, whatever that means.

I know talking to my husband, a lot of the reason he doesn't like going to Church is because it's too formal, it's too boring, it feels (to him) like people just checking things off of a check list.  It's not personal enough.  You know what he doesn't like?  Tradition.  Latin.  "masculine" Mass.

This whole man/woman, masculine/feminine natural law thing is a pretty divisive topic in the Church right now, and I'm not going to really get into it, but it is another thing that I have lots of thoughts about.

Needless to say, I think the whole idea of certain elements of the Mass being masculine or feminine is bogus.  If anything is wrong with the liturgy, or the Church, I think it's that we are missing a sense that God's love is there.  That we are welcome, that we are a part of something.  It is so easy to go into a strange Church and feel isolated.  I know that at St. Joseph's, my home parish, I didn't really feel like I belonged until I started volunteering there.  I went to Holy Rosary and instantly felt part of the group.  I actually had a brief thought of ditching St Joe's but I wouldn't really.   If Priests are standing in for Christ at Mass, they need to focus less on crossing the t's and dotting all the lower case j's and focus more on treating parishoners as family and friends.  They need to show the love of God through their actions and tone; through their very presence.   Kind of like what Jesus did.

Get a Move On

Ok, this needs to happen.

I have so many thoughts in my head.  I need to get them out.  but I also feel that putting something up here somehow makes me a narcissist or a loud mouth or something.

Which is not what I'm going for.

So, I will write when I need to, I will share what I want to, and maybe someday I'll tell someone about this blog.  Until then, I here by give myself permission to write.  To share.  To lay my soul bare.  And I don't care, if you don't.  (that was a poem.)

The end beginning.